Funny texts

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It's amazing how often I get called smart! Funny though, because it always ends with the word ass! lol!

Says, I am not an alcoholic. I am a social drinker. Problem is, I socialize too much!

Hoe my God, they is such a slut. they keeps acting like a tramp, I guess they doesn't give a damn.. (its about you, not me bitch)

Feels sorry for everyone else because she has the greatest boyfriend in existence and no one else can have him <3

I love you but you don't realise it. So whats the point of holding you if your just pushing me away.

Normal people when driving on an icy road freak out and hit the snowbank us crazies...we say "hold on to my beer and watch this"

Realized today that loosing your mind is easy, getting it back is the difficult part

Shit, I wouldn't touch that motherfucker with a 20ft. pole, unless they took an acidic bath to get that nasty slut's STD infested nastiness off of them. (:

"It doesn't matter what other people think about you. The only thing that matters is that you are happy with who you are." -anonymous :)

God told me, if people are stuck in Ur head and u cant get them out they r meant to be there so just let them be. Just try not to go crazy if they r there.

Tell someone about Christ. If one person gets saved cause of this post, it was worth it.=) God bless

I melt when i look into those chocolate eyes of yours, i melt when your arms are around me, i melt when you say, "I love you" because for once, i believe it! <3

customer calls and asks "are you open today?" nope i just like answering the phone on my day off

I've been thinking... If there was no Facebook, where would people be wasting their lives

Bed ur awesome!..Toilet u have took it all these years! Bath u know u rock!



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